Bite my tongue... for now

I didn't get to tell my doctor that I will be birthing at home this time. When it came time to discuss what my plans were for birthing this time, it was at the end of my appointment, on our way out the door. I did manage to tell her that if my water breaks early this time, I will be staying home until I have a good labor going. Her response was "You're so funny!" Yeah, hilarious! I suppose she thinks that I will go to the same doctor who did my c-section and attended the vbac, that even though I was frustrated with him, I have no other choice but to use him as my doctor.

In a way, she is right. In my town, excuse me, no, in the town next to mine (did I mention that I live in Alaska and my town has NO doctors in it because the only hospital in my immediate area is in the next town over, a mere 10 mile drive away) there are 3, yes, just 3 doctors capable of performing c-sections. One is a family practitioner (male, older, terrible bedside manners), one is a petite woman who has a "midwife" on staff (but who generally does what the doctor tells her to do), and the third is also a man (I hear he has a good sense of humor, but also tends to treat women as if they have a "condition" instead of treating them like people and often has terrible manners himself). Of these 3, only the first willingly lets women vbac, and only if he determines they are good candidates. The other 2 tend to push women toward repeat cesarean, since it is convenient for their schedules (and I suspect they like the fee a lot more than an uncomplicated vaginal delivery). So you can see that I was stuck with doctor #1. He's a very good doctor, well learned, has been doing this for AGES and in surgery, no one is better. Part of my problem with him is that he HAS been doing this forever, and over the last trimester of my last pregnancy, was very impersonal and dry, to the point that I wondered if I could give birth with this person in the room! I do not intend to go through any type of delivery with him again!

So my only option now is to keep quiet until the time is right, find a midwife who will accept me and not give me a hard time about my decision. I don't even know if midwives are allowed to knowingly attend a home vbac in Alaska, but I will find out. If you have any recommendations, I'll take 'em!