We became pregnant with baby #4 nearly 3 years after the birth of baby #3. My husband felt that 3 children was enough for him and the c-section was a difficult recovery for all of us. Life was good, we had a little bit of balance and our kids were finally all potty trained! But I was starting to feel that a large family was more of what I wanted, starting to feel like we were still trying to control this life that ultimately God is in control of! It had been years since we had discussed birth control and our youngest was just getting out of the cute toddler stage. So we decided that it was time for another one and this time, NO c-section!
As I've mentioned before, there are only 3 local doctors who are capable of c-sections, and 2 of them prefer not to do vbacs, and state law prevents midwives from attending vbacs. The third doctor is not my favorite, but he had done my c-section and had been suprisingly compassionate when I had a concern or question about the incision site. After seeing my family practitioner for the first 2 trimesters, I was finally turned over to doctor #3, who agreed to attend my vbac.
Visiting him for appointments was awful. I mean TERRIBLE. He was fairly impersonal, offered up no advice or reassuring, typical "this is what you should expect" conversations, nothing. Getting him to just affirm anything was painful. I was stressed and uncomfortable with the idea of him attending and his inattentiveness only made it worse. I actually called my doctor and cried on the phone about how unhappy I was going to appointments there! She listened, but her only advice was to tough it out, he was the best and he would allow me to vbac. I was so frustrated, knowing that he was my only option.
Finally, on Monday, at 40 weeks and no active labor (I had thinned, but only dilated to 1-ish), the doctor did a pelvic exam to see where we were. Then attempted to strip my membranes. Talk about uncomfortable! I don't remember him asking my permission, he just shoved his hand in further and told me thats what he was doing! I went home and waited that day and another, and finally, on Wednesday morning at 5 am, my water broke. I had been instructed that it was "vital" that I get to the hospital because I was vbac-ing. Why? "There's a risk of infection if you walk around with your waters broken". PSsssh! And the risk what, magically goes away when I walk thru the door at the hospital? Ha! The risk comes from having a million strangers sticking their fingers up there, trying to figure out what's going on!!
I checked in at about 8 am, having no solid contractions, and sat hooked up to machines for most of the day. The nurses suggested I go walk the halls for a while. Walk. Walk back and forth, down the 200 feet of hallway available to me. That's going to help. I expressed my irritation to my husband and chose instead to sit in bed, attempting manually start labor by expressing milk. My contractions would get started and then the nurses would come in and I would stop, and the contractions would stop, because I was embarrassed to do that in front of anyone. Visitors popped in, all asking "how's it going?" It's not. Please go away. Nurses would come in, reminding me that the hospital (and the doctor) had to keep a surgical team on standby during my labor and that if things didn't get up and moving by 8 pm, the doctor would administer Pitocin. Like reminding me of that would push me into labor!
At last, the shift change came and I got a new nurse. She asked me about my day, my labor and my thoughts. I told her about the expressing and how it helped with contractions. She offered to bring me an electric pump to help. How I wished she had been on duty that morning! I felt a moment of support! I told her that I was extremely against getting pitocin. I was immediately let down - she repeated the threats of the other nurses and the doctor. I turned to my husband after she left and threatened to divorce him if he let the doctor give me pitocin against my will. I had seen women get pitocin and I knew that was not how women should deliver babies! The woman in the next room was screaming and it was a pitocin scream.
8 pm came and the doctor appeared. Another check, another discussion about labor not progressing how they wanted it to. Another reminder that the surgical team was on standby. I looked at the doctor and told him "I do not want pitocin." He kind of shrugged and said that was my only option, repeating yet AGAIN the "if we wait, your waters... blah blah blah". I was on the verge of tears, but at 9 pm, they inserted an i.v. and started the pitocin.
I was uncomfortable from the start - going from no contractions to what I would call a 5 in under 15 minutes. A dear friend came in to visit just after they had started the pitocin and I found it difficult to focus or talk during contractions, the whole time fighting the tears of frustration at having my personal wishes completely ignored. By the time she left, I sat up on my bed and felt like I needed to pee, so asked my husband to help me up and get to the bathroom. Thats when things really picked up. I remained frozen on the edge of the bed as the contractions climbed quickly up to an 8, the whole time insisting that I needed to go to the bathroom. The nurses tried to help me, but all I could think about was "THIS IS NOT HOW LABOR SHOULD BE!!!" I started to insist they turn off the pitocin and they at first refused. One of the nurses called for the doctor and he came in to check me, making me lay back. He said I was at an 8 or 9 and left to get his scrubs on. By the time he came back, I was beside myself with pain and the contractions were unbearable.
I started to feel an unnatural pushing sensation, much more intense than my first 2 deliveries, coupled with intense pain. I could tell that things were going way too fast and I remember screaming and praying in tandem during those contractions. Finally, the table front dropped and everyone was in position, the bed was inclined to help me sit up and I was informed it was time to push. I don't know how long it took or how many pushes, but I remember that this was the hardest delivery I had gone through and that the pushing took far more work. My eyes had burst blood vessels from the strain and I remember my lips going numb because I was being told to push harder. If it is possible to be angry at your doctor (and nurses and husband) while giving birth, this is what it is like.
Thankfully, my son was delivered just fine at 11 pm. His cord was unusually short, something the doctor commented on immediately, while laying him onto my stomach and seeing to the afterbirth. He weighed in at 8# 6 oz, 19 inches, by far my smallest baby. I tore a little during delivery and received some stitches (which I later had my family practitioner see too, since I had been over stitched, leaving me with a weird, painful pulling sensation in my perineum). My son was content and nursed immediately. After everything was cleaned up and he was ready to leave, the doctor looked at the clock and said to me with a wink, "Looks like I'll be home before midnight after all! Tell the team they can go home." HA. Glad I could be convenient for everyone!
I was so relieved it was all over and so thankful to see my own doctor come in to check on me after he left. She offered to do my postpartum check ups and we agreed this was best.
We were moved to another room, in the old wing that I hated, but that had thankfully been remodeled and turned into a dedicated maternity recovery wing. It was quiet and private and each room had a private bathroom! My husband went home to be with our other boys and get some rest himself. The baby and I slept and I woke in the wee hours of the morning, restless and wanting to just nurse and hold my baby. He slept for what seemed like an eternity. The delivery must have been very hard on him as well. We received visitors sporadically throughout the day and thankfully, the hospital discharged me that evening. Going home was the best part of the ordeal!
It wasn't long after his birth that I decided I would never have another hospital delivery. Can you blame me? I felt so violated and ignored. I felt pushed into what I saw as a violent delivery and I believe it has played a big part in my son's personality, one that I describe as angry and frustrated. The first year was hard for us both! I know what a good delivery is like, what a "normal, healthy" should be like. Why would I want to deliver any other way? Having my membranes stripped was key in how things went. My body was not ready to deliver and I was pushed into having pitocin, by a doctor that I wasn't comfortable with.
I did come away from this last birth with some big revelations of God's hand in the process: how our son was smaller than any of his brothers, allowing for an easier delivery; how his cord was extremely short, preventing the possibility of it wrapping like all the others. Had his cord wrapped or had he been much bigger, a fast, violent delivery could have seriously hurt him. I really believe God created him just the way he needed to be for this delivery. Only He could know how events would play out. I am so thankful for that! I trust that our choice to deliver at home is part of His plan and I feel lead to do it.
Thanks for reading!
Friday, January 14, 2011
New Year, new baby
Well, I finally told everyone that I am pregnant. We told our children on Christmas and they were all very excited. We told everyone else on New Years Day. Our announcement was met with the usual "Congratulations", and " Don't you know what causes that (har, har, har)". My mother's response was the same as the last 3: "Oh, that's interesting". Its pretty discouraging when your own mother can't be happy for you that your family is growing. I get so sick of people assuming that because they couldn't possibly want anymore children, then you shouldn't either! Even if you tell them that you and your husband plan on having a large family, they still react poorly. People suck. Sorry, I have a little bit of a bad attitude right now.
Our decision to have this one at home is solid now. We are not telling anyone, not the OB, not our parents, not even our children. I think it will be easier for me to just do it and then share it. I do not feel like listening to anyone's opinion on why we should be at the hospital (even though 95% of the people on the earth were born at home!) or how we are putting everyone in danger (really? there is a 3 time increase in mother and infant mortality at the hospital!) I'm no dummy. I know that my body can do this, and has done it, and should be able to do it BETTER if I am comfortable and have no "help" (or rather, interference) of "trained hospital staff". Believe me, when you hear how #4 went, you will probably agree.
I have been reading, reading, reading and one interesting thing that I have discovered is that the hormone estrogen is responsible for women feeling contented and for the progress of labor. The level of this hormone drops when a women is in a situation that she is not in control of or feels dominated over or pressured to do things in a way that goes against her instinct. A drop in estrogen PREVENTS labor from progressing! Think about it - if you have a cat that is preparing to deliver her litter and someone moves her, it may stall or stop labor or lead to her delivering dead kittens! She no longer feels safe and that interrupts the natural labor process! It is the same with women in labor. If they do not feel safe or feel dominated and out of control (yes, labor cannot be "controlled" but most women do not feel worried because they understand that their body was made to do this) then labor may not start or progress as rapidly as it would under more soothing conditions, leading to all kinds of medical interventions that actually increase the risks of childbirth!
I am just past the middle mark of this pregnancy. My stress level is through the roof right now, mostly because our house is in the chaos of a remodel that has stalled. I will go to no more than 3 more appointments with doctors. Hopefully 2 more with my doctor and one with the OB surgeon who would perform a c-section if I needed one. That is my back up plan. It is less than 10 minutes to a hospital from here and 5 for the ambulance to get here. I have been through this enough to know when something is not right, and both my husband and I are reading emergency childbirth manuals in preparation. Hopefully our house will get set in order and be the peaceful place I need it to be before labor begins!
Our decision to have this one at home is solid now. We are not telling anyone, not the OB, not our parents, not even our children. I think it will be easier for me to just do it and then share it. I do not feel like listening to anyone's opinion on why we should be at the hospital (even though 95% of the people on the earth were born at home!) or how we are putting everyone in danger (really? there is a 3 time increase in mother and infant mortality at the hospital!) I'm no dummy. I know that my body can do this, and has done it, and should be able to do it BETTER if I am comfortable and have no "help" (or rather, interference) of "trained hospital staff". Believe me, when you hear how #4 went, you will probably agree.
I have been reading, reading, reading and one interesting thing that I have discovered is that the hormone estrogen is responsible for women feeling contented and for the progress of labor. The level of this hormone drops when a women is in a situation that she is not in control of or feels dominated over or pressured to do things in a way that goes against her instinct. A drop in estrogen PREVENTS labor from progressing! Think about it - if you have a cat that is preparing to deliver her litter and someone moves her, it may stall or stop labor or lead to her delivering dead kittens! She no longer feels safe and that interrupts the natural labor process! It is the same with women in labor. If they do not feel safe or feel dominated and out of control (yes, labor cannot be "controlled" but most women do not feel worried because they understand that their body was made to do this) then labor may not start or progress as rapidly as it would under more soothing conditions, leading to all kinds of medical interventions that actually increase the risks of childbirth!
I am just past the middle mark of this pregnancy. My stress level is through the roof right now, mostly because our house is in the chaos of a remodel that has stalled. I will go to no more than 3 more appointments with doctors. Hopefully 2 more with my doctor and one with the OB surgeon who would perform a c-section if I needed one. That is my back up plan. It is less than 10 minutes to a hospital from here and 5 for the ambulance to get here. I have been through this enough to know when something is not right, and both my husband and I are reading emergency childbirth manuals in preparation. Hopefully our house will get set in order and be the peaceful place I need it to be before labor begins!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Birth of the 3rd son...
We discovered we were pregnant in the summer of 2005. We had moved the previous fall and were finally in a house with a yard where our 2 boys could play. I struggled to lose weight, but we decided it was time to have another baby. We were so excited to be pregnant again that we shared the news with everyone immediately!
Over that fall and winter, I continued to see our family practitioner for my ob visits. We were due at the end of February, and thankfully, I was not alone! My older sister was pregnant with her first baby, also with the same due date, my sister in law pregnant with her 4th, with the same date, and my cousin with her second, due just 2 weeks later! It was great to be able to commiserate over our pregnancy "ailments" and to have emotional support from one another. There were so many women around me pregnant and due around the same time!
At about 30 weeks, my doctor told me the baby was breech. I felt that there were no worries, he (at this point, unconfirmed) would turn and we would have a regular delivery. Well, the weeks kept ticking past and finally at 36 weeks, she sent me next door to consult with her mentor, Dr. A, the doctor who would perform the cesarean if the baby would not turn. She held out hope that he would turn, but stated clearly that with my history of delivering large babies, she would not let me try to deliver breech. Dr. A met with me and set an appointment for an inversion.
I tried everything to turn that baby. Hand stands in the pool, a bag of frozen peas at the height of the fundus while sitting in a warm bath (supposed to encourage the baby to turn toward the warmth?), dromedary drops... nothing seemed to work. I had heard about chiropractors who could turn babies, but my doctor advised against it and I didn't know of anyone locally who treated women at full term. Did I mention that my back had been screaming with pain my whole pregnancy?
The date of the inversion, I checked my self into the hospital, and the doctor administered the medication that would help make my uterus "palpable". Dr. A tried for 15 or 20 minutes to turn the baby, but to no avail. Finally, he brought in an ultrasound machine and did a scan to check on the baby's heart rate and position. Everything was fine, but he was definitely breech and according to the machine's measuring abilities, topping out at a whopping 9.8 lbs! Definitely no breech delivery for me....
With that failed attempt, we went ahead and scheduled the cesarean appointment for almost a week before my due date. I was upset. I was a mess. I was so worried about what could go wrong during a c-section that I could hardly sleep, especially with the back pain. I would wake up in the night to check the baby's position, hoping that he would turn. He would get side ways, and then flip back to breech. The day of the c-section did come though, and to the hospital my husband and I went, bright and early in the morning. Our other boys, then 2 and 4, stayed overnight with my mother. We checked in to the hospital and Dr. A came in to do paperwork with me and go through the typical procedure with me. I insisted he do one more ultrasound, and even though it irritated him, he did. The baby was still breech.
I have no idea what time I was rolled into the O.R. My family doctor was there along side Dr. A and there were 3 or 5 nurses in the room as well. The anesthesiologist asked me to sit up and roll forward over my round belly to expose my spine as well as possible. I have seen women get epidurals and knew what he was going to do. My husband watched as he inserted a VERY long needle into my spinal column, missing once or twice before finally getting it into the correct position. I'm a big girl, but when someone is sticking a needle into your SPINE, you would expect them not to miss! You can't exactly control the jerk that comes with the miss when nerves are hit! I lay back down, with my husband on my right and the anesthesiologist on my left. Up went the curtain over my belly and things went numb. I am so glad that I asked to stay awake.
The surgery seemed to go so quickly. They opened everything up, started to get the baby out and he didn't seem to want to budge! Dr. A said that his head was stuck up under my rib cage and gave my ribs a massage and a thump and with a loud "pop", the baby's head came free and he was out! He was crying before they got him cleaned up. I don't remember if they let me see him or hold him, I only remember that I looked over at the baby warming station, where a nurse was cleaning him up and weighing him, and marveled at how big he was! No wrinkles like the last one, no cone head like the first. He was perfect and round! He weighed an even 10 pounds, until he peed! His birth certificate actually says "9 lbs. 14.6 oz" because he peed as the nurse was weighing him. At 20 and 1/2 inches, he was a beautiful boy. My husband had plenty of time to hold him while I was stitched up and rolled out to a recovery room while my lower body was waking up. I was given pitocin to make my uterus contract and left in a dark quiet room with my sleeping newborn.
After I was moved to a regular ob recovery room, and my legs began to wake up, I was overjoyed to nurse my new son. My husband told me he had watched the surgery and that this baby had been wrapped with his umbilical cord to, and he thought maybe that prevented him from turning. At that point, I was thankful that I had not insisted on trying to deliver him breech. I felt that things had worked out how God had intended, not knowing how that cord would have hurt him or I during a vaginal delivery, but still very frustrated that I had to have a c-section. I had a rough night in recovery, moved again to the noisy wing! I let my anger fly at the nurse that day, letting her know that this was NOT conducive to resting after surgery or giving birth! Finally, after 2 days, they let me go home. So much of that time is hard to recall because of the drugs I was on.
The recovery process after the c-section was hell. I was in constant pain, trying to nurse a baby who was getting drugged by my breast milk, and trying to preserve my medication by taking half pills. My husband was able to stay home and take care of the other 2 boys and prepare all the meals, help me to the bathroom, do all the things that I normally do! My feet were so swollen that I could only get out of bed for a few minutes at a time before they would become painfully engorged. It turned out that I didn't leave my bed for almost 2 weeks, it was 2 months before my husband went back to work and it was 6 months before the pain subsided and I finally felt like I had just delivered a baby! It was terrible. The only upside is that I had plenty of time to bond with our new baby, holding him all the time and my husband got to be there for his first 2 months too. He was such an easy going baby, full of smiles and joy from the beginning.
Our little guy is now almost 5 and is still as laid back as ever. He has been a joy and is our boy who likes to cuddle. I couldn't be more thankful for him.
I came away from this birth feeling like a failure. I never wanted to go through another cesarean section again! I began to get chiropractic treatment for my still aching back and discovered that my sacrum was twisted more than 30 degrees! I wondered if that prevented our son from turning, blocking the head down position. I had heart palpitations, migraines, lost vision and high blood pressure, which I had never had before, that started after the delivery. I found out later these are some of the potential side affects of having a spinal block or epidural! Some of the fluid in the spine can be lost and create a strain on the heart and brain! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT BEFORE THE PROCEDURE!?! Even though the baby was healthy, I decided that would never happen again, and if it did, I was going to be sure to have my tubes tied because there was no way I was going through that 3 times! I didn't understand why a woman would choose to have every baby via c-section when a vaginal delivery was so much easier and healthier.
Only one more birth story to go...
Over that fall and winter, I continued to see our family practitioner for my ob visits. We were due at the end of February, and thankfully, I was not alone! My older sister was pregnant with her first baby, also with the same due date, my sister in law pregnant with her 4th, with the same date, and my cousin with her second, due just 2 weeks later! It was great to be able to commiserate over our pregnancy "ailments" and to have emotional support from one another. There were so many women around me pregnant and due around the same time!
At about 30 weeks, my doctor told me the baby was breech. I felt that there were no worries, he (at this point, unconfirmed) would turn and we would have a regular delivery. Well, the weeks kept ticking past and finally at 36 weeks, she sent me next door to consult with her mentor, Dr. A, the doctor who would perform the cesarean if the baby would not turn. She held out hope that he would turn, but stated clearly that with my history of delivering large babies, she would not let me try to deliver breech. Dr. A met with me and set an appointment for an inversion.
I tried everything to turn that baby. Hand stands in the pool, a bag of frozen peas at the height of the fundus while sitting in a warm bath (supposed to encourage the baby to turn toward the warmth?), dromedary drops... nothing seemed to work. I had heard about chiropractors who could turn babies, but my doctor advised against it and I didn't know of anyone locally who treated women at full term. Did I mention that my back had been screaming with pain my whole pregnancy?
The date of the inversion, I checked my self into the hospital, and the doctor administered the medication that would help make my uterus "palpable". Dr. A tried for 15 or 20 minutes to turn the baby, but to no avail. Finally, he brought in an ultrasound machine and did a scan to check on the baby's heart rate and position. Everything was fine, but he was definitely breech and according to the machine's measuring abilities, topping out at a whopping 9.8 lbs! Definitely no breech delivery for me....
With that failed attempt, we went ahead and scheduled the cesarean appointment for almost a week before my due date. I was upset. I was a mess. I was so worried about what could go wrong during a c-section that I could hardly sleep, especially with the back pain. I would wake up in the night to check the baby's position, hoping that he would turn. He would get side ways, and then flip back to breech. The day of the c-section did come though, and to the hospital my husband and I went, bright and early in the morning. Our other boys, then 2 and 4, stayed overnight with my mother. We checked in to the hospital and Dr. A came in to do paperwork with me and go through the typical procedure with me. I insisted he do one more ultrasound, and even though it irritated him, he did. The baby was still breech.
I have no idea what time I was rolled into the O.R. My family doctor was there along side Dr. A and there were 3 or 5 nurses in the room as well. The anesthesiologist asked me to sit up and roll forward over my round belly to expose my spine as well as possible. I have seen women get epidurals and knew what he was going to do. My husband watched as he inserted a VERY long needle into my spinal column, missing once or twice before finally getting it into the correct position. I'm a big girl, but when someone is sticking a needle into your SPINE, you would expect them not to miss! You can't exactly control the jerk that comes with the miss when nerves are hit! I lay back down, with my husband on my right and the anesthesiologist on my left. Up went the curtain over my belly and things went numb. I am so glad that I asked to stay awake.
The surgery seemed to go so quickly. They opened everything up, started to get the baby out and he didn't seem to want to budge! Dr. A said that his head was stuck up under my rib cage and gave my ribs a massage and a thump and with a loud "pop", the baby's head came free and he was out! He was crying before they got him cleaned up. I don't remember if they let me see him or hold him, I only remember that I looked over at the baby warming station, where a nurse was cleaning him up and weighing him, and marveled at how big he was! No wrinkles like the last one, no cone head like the first. He was perfect and round! He weighed an even 10 pounds, until he peed! His birth certificate actually says "9 lbs. 14.6 oz" because he peed as the nurse was weighing him. At 20 and 1/2 inches, he was a beautiful boy. My husband had plenty of time to hold him while I was stitched up and rolled out to a recovery room while my lower body was waking up. I was given pitocin to make my uterus contract and left in a dark quiet room with my sleeping newborn.
After I was moved to a regular ob recovery room, and my legs began to wake up, I was overjoyed to nurse my new son. My husband told me he had watched the surgery and that this baby had been wrapped with his umbilical cord to, and he thought maybe that prevented him from turning. At that point, I was thankful that I had not insisted on trying to deliver him breech. I felt that things had worked out how God had intended, not knowing how that cord would have hurt him or I during a vaginal delivery, but still very frustrated that I had to have a c-section. I had a rough night in recovery, moved again to the noisy wing! I let my anger fly at the nurse that day, letting her know that this was NOT conducive to resting after surgery or giving birth! Finally, after 2 days, they let me go home. So much of that time is hard to recall because of the drugs I was on.
The recovery process after the c-section was hell. I was in constant pain, trying to nurse a baby who was getting drugged by my breast milk, and trying to preserve my medication by taking half pills. My husband was able to stay home and take care of the other 2 boys and prepare all the meals, help me to the bathroom, do all the things that I normally do! My feet were so swollen that I could only get out of bed for a few minutes at a time before they would become painfully engorged. It turned out that I didn't leave my bed for almost 2 weeks, it was 2 months before my husband went back to work and it was 6 months before the pain subsided and I finally felt like I had just delivered a baby! It was terrible. The only upside is that I had plenty of time to bond with our new baby, holding him all the time and my husband got to be there for his first 2 months too. He was such an easy going baby, full of smiles and joy from the beginning.
Our little guy is now almost 5 and is still as laid back as ever. He has been a joy and is our boy who likes to cuddle. I couldn't be more thankful for him.
I came away from this birth feeling like a failure. I never wanted to go through another cesarean section again! I began to get chiropractic treatment for my still aching back and discovered that my sacrum was twisted more than 30 degrees! I wondered if that prevented our son from turning, blocking the head down position. I had heart palpitations, migraines, lost vision and high blood pressure, which I had never had before, that started after the delivery. I found out later these are some of the potential side affects of having a spinal block or epidural! Some of the fluid in the spine can be lost and create a strain on the heart and brain! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT BEFORE THE PROCEDURE!?! Even though the baby was healthy, I decided that would never happen again, and if it did, I was going to be sure to have my tubes tied because there was no way I was going through that 3 times! I didn't understand why a woman would choose to have every baby via c-section when a vaginal delivery was so much easier and healthier.
Only one more birth story to go...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Birth of the second son....
We found out that we were pregnant with a second child just weeks before our first turned one. We were newly married, had a 3 bedroom apartment and it seemed just great, even though my husband had said "We're never doing this again" after baby #1! I still weighed in at just 10 pounds below my full term weight with baby #1, which was not too difficult to adjust to, since I had been overweight as a teen, but still not a healthy way to start another pregnancy. I told my folks we were expecting, and neither one was very supportive, but we were excited.
What wasn't working for me was living in the apartment complex where we were. It was loud and full of drug abusing tenants, our downstairs neighbors smoked in their apartment, meaning the smoke was coming right up to our place. My pregnancy was pretty uneventful, nice and easy, but the stress of living there, after one of my husband's ex-girlfriends moved in, would have torn our marriage apart so we started looking for a new place to live. At 8 months pregnant, we moved. I had just one month to get the house unpacked and ready for a baby! Thankfully, we didn't have much to unpack :)
At this point, we had no idea that baby #2 was a boy. Our doctor (God bless her) isn't so great at deciphering gender via ultrasound! So at 32 weeks, after she was pretty sure that this baby was a girl, we both clearly saw in the ultrasound that indeed, it was not! I returned the cute crib set that had I purchased and cried for a bit. My husband was pretty irritated that I was upset, mostly because the baby was healthy and that was all that should matter.
40 weeks came and went and we started planning for the baby to arrive at any moment, leaving a packed overnight bag by the door and making sure we had a sitter lined up for our toddler. We walked at the grocery store, and at the local indoor hockey rink. It wasn't enough. At 41 weeks, the doctor decided that we should induce. We scheduled the appointment, sure that we would have a baby before then. On a Wednesday morning at 6 am, 11 days overdue, we went in to the hospital for induction. I was partially dilated to 2, and had been for 2 weeks, but the doc decided that we should start the induction with a 1/4 dose of a tablet that she would insert near the cervix, where it would dissolve and jump start labor. I found out later that this was an experimental drug, only approved for trial testing, but it seemed to work okay in very small doses. I received antibiotics for Strep B, which I had tested positive for, and sat back to wait for labor.
Early contractions started, nothing consistent, until I stood up to use the bathroom and my water broke on the way there! I went potty and hurried back to my bed, where I was checked and found to be at 6. The doctor had left for a meeting somewhere in the hospital and wouldn't be back until 1, with it now being noon. Labor picked up quickly and before I new it, I was telling the nurse to find the doctor because it wouldn't be long now! She paged the doc and my husband and I focused on contractions and breathing. I found that the smell of the alcohol hand sanitizer the nurses used helped me to feel better (ethanol anyone?!) and made the nurse wave her hands near me so I could breath it! Finally, the doctor rushed into the room, sliding on her gloves to do a check, found me at 9 and immediately ran back out to scrub up and get on her gown. She slid back into the room just in time for me to get situated at the end of the bed and we started pushing. It seemed like it took relatively the same amount of pushing as the first baby, its hard to remember. I did have to pause again, for an episiotomy and the cord to be flipped off his neck. Our little boy arrived in the world at 1:55pm, wrinkly and underweight at a whopping 9 lbs, 11 oz and 22 inches long!
He looked like a little old man, all wrinkles and bald. I'm convinced that had he been born at 4o weeks, he would have been well over 10 lbs. If we had chosen to wait for me to go into labor, who knows what would have happened to him. It worried me that he was so skinny, but other than that, he was healthy. My husband and I had our baby all to ourselves, no repeat of our mothers swooping in to hold the baby before he did. Dad got to be the first one to hold his son!
Our hospital stay was pretty typical, but they moved me to another wing of the hospital, just around the corner from the maternity ward. It was loud, there were orderlies up and down the hallway all night and we shared an adjoining bathroom with another room, meaning the loud flush of the toilet kept me up. It was difficult to rest and I was ready to go home after the first 24 hours. Thankfully, the staff let me watch the safety videos and do the car seat check and get on my way. I was so happy to be home in my own bed and finally rest.
Our son had a hard time adjusting and was a very fussy baby. He is now almost 7 (in a few days!) and still needs extra cuddling, probably because I failed to give it to him as an infant. I had no idea how to handle a baby that had stomach issues (probably from the antibiotics, which also caused diaper rash) and needed to be held constantly! It was so different from our first son, who slept for 12 hours at just a few days old (but never slept during the day) and we were still struggling to find our balance as a married couple. Thankfully, he is a loving little boy and we have worked hard to rebuild whatever trust may have been damaged. Much like our first son, I had a really hard time producing enough milk and he lost a pound in weight, so we started supplementing with formula at just over a week old. The story of my difficulty with nursing is another one altogether....
Again, not too much to complain about with this birth, right? I still came away from it with goals about how I wanted the next one to go, what I saw that caused complications later for our son, and goals that focused on what I thought I was physically capable of and had failed to accomplish during this birth. I didn't want antibiotics again (I hadn't had them since I was a very small child), I didn't want to be induced, and I was DAMN sure that they were not going to put me in a room in that wing again!
Thanks for hanging in there. These stories don't mean a lot to anyone else, but they help to shape the picture of why I want to birth at home this time. Still 2 more births to recount...
What wasn't working for me was living in the apartment complex where we were. It was loud and full of drug abusing tenants, our downstairs neighbors smoked in their apartment, meaning the smoke was coming right up to our place. My pregnancy was pretty uneventful, nice and easy, but the stress of living there, after one of my husband's ex-girlfriends moved in, would have torn our marriage apart so we started looking for a new place to live. At 8 months pregnant, we moved. I had just one month to get the house unpacked and ready for a baby! Thankfully, we didn't have much to unpack :)
At this point, we had no idea that baby #2 was a boy. Our doctor (God bless her) isn't so great at deciphering gender via ultrasound! So at 32 weeks, after she was pretty sure that this baby was a girl, we both clearly saw in the ultrasound that indeed, it was not! I returned the cute crib set that had I purchased and cried for a bit. My husband was pretty irritated that I was upset, mostly because the baby was healthy and that was all that should matter.
40 weeks came and went and we started planning for the baby to arrive at any moment, leaving a packed overnight bag by the door and making sure we had a sitter lined up for our toddler. We walked at the grocery store, and at the local indoor hockey rink. It wasn't enough. At 41 weeks, the doctor decided that we should induce. We scheduled the appointment, sure that we would have a baby before then. On a Wednesday morning at 6 am, 11 days overdue, we went in to the hospital for induction. I was partially dilated to 2, and had been for 2 weeks, but the doc decided that we should start the induction with a 1/4 dose of a tablet that she would insert near the cervix, where it would dissolve and jump start labor. I found out later that this was an experimental drug, only approved for trial testing, but it seemed to work okay in very small doses. I received antibiotics for Strep B, which I had tested positive for, and sat back to wait for labor.
Early contractions started, nothing consistent, until I stood up to use the bathroom and my water broke on the way there! I went potty and hurried back to my bed, where I was checked and found to be at 6. The doctor had left for a meeting somewhere in the hospital and wouldn't be back until 1, with it now being noon. Labor picked up quickly and before I new it, I was telling the nurse to find the doctor because it wouldn't be long now! She paged the doc and my husband and I focused on contractions and breathing. I found that the smell of the alcohol hand sanitizer the nurses used helped me to feel better (ethanol anyone?!) and made the nurse wave her hands near me so I could breath it! Finally, the doctor rushed into the room, sliding on her gloves to do a check, found me at 9 and immediately ran back out to scrub up and get on her gown. She slid back into the room just in time for me to get situated at the end of the bed and we started pushing. It seemed like it took relatively the same amount of pushing as the first baby, its hard to remember. I did have to pause again, for an episiotomy and the cord to be flipped off his neck. Our little boy arrived in the world at 1:55pm, wrinkly and underweight at a whopping 9 lbs, 11 oz and 22 inches long!
He looked like a little old man, all wrinkles and bald. I'm convinced that had he been born at 4o weeks, he would have been well over 10 lbs. If we had chosen to wait for me to go into labor, who knows what would have happened to him. It worried me that he was so skinny, but other than that, he was healthy. My husband and I had our baby all to ourselves, no repeat of our mothers swooping in to hold the baby before he did. Dad got to be the first one to hold his son!
Our hospital stay was pretty typical, but they moved me to another wing of the hospital, just around the corner from the maternity ward. It was loud, there were orderlies up and down the hallway all night and we shared an adjoining bathroom with another room, meaning the loud flush of the toilet kept me up. It was difficult to rest and I was ready to go home after the first 24 hours. Thankfully, the staff let me watch the safety videos and do the car seat check and get on my way. I was so happy to be home in my own bed and finally rest.
Our son had a hard time adjusting and was a very fussy baby. He is now almost 7 (in a few days!) and still needs extra cuddling, probably because I failed to give it to him as an infant. I had no idea how to handle a baby that had stomach issues (probably from the antibiotics, which also caused diaper rash) and needed to be held constantly! It was so different from our first son, who slept for 12 hours at just a few days old (but never slept during the day) and we were still struggling to find our balance as a married couple. Thankfully, he is a loving little boy and we have worked hard to rebuild whatever trust may have been damaged. Much like our first son, I had a really hard time producing enough milk and he lost a pound in weight, so we started supplementing with formula at just over a week old. The story of my difficulty with nursing is another one altogether....
Again, not too much to complain about with this birth, right? I still came away from it with goals about how I wanted the next one to go, what I saw that caused complications later for our son, and goals that focused on what I thought I was physically capable of and had failed to accomplish during this birth. I didn't want antibiotics again (I hadn't had them since I was a very small child), I didn't want to be induced, and I was DAMN sure that they were not going to put me in a room in that wing again!
Thanks for hanging in there. These stories don't mean a lot to anyone else, but they help to shape the picture of why I want to birth at home this time. Still 2 more births to recount...
Monday, November 8, 2010
The birth of the first son
The birth of son number 1 was about as ideal as one can expect a hospital birth to go. Let me preface this story by saying that I did not enter into motherhood with any disdain for hospital facilitated births, but now I do! If you don't feel the same way, lovely. Hopefully your experiences have been better than mine....
The contractions for son #1 started half-way through the day on my due date. We had company over that day, another expectant mother who was due about a 10 days after me but would go on to have her son a little over a week late. We had a good chat, took a belly to belly picture, and I declined going to shoot a few games of pool because my back had been hurting off and on for the last hour or so. Who tries to play pool at 9 months pregnant and how would I even bend over the table to shoot?! We said good bye and I sat down to rest a bit.
I started timing my back aches, because they were starting to feel like menstrual cramps, and it turns out I was having contractions, all in my back, but I was able to go to sleep at about midnight that night. I woke at about 3, when the contractions were closer together and more regular, called my boyfriend (gasp, we weren't married or living together?! Surprise, no - we were married when son #1 was 5 months old), told him to get dressed and get over to my father's house to drive me to the hospital. I took a shower, watched a movie, ate a sandwich (all with my father peeking in on me to see if I was okay). My boyfriend finally arrived and we got to the hospital at about 5:30 a.m.
I checked in and told the nurses I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart. They did the usual, hooked me to a monitor so they could evaluate, and once they did, they checked my cervix to find that I was only at a little over 1. Apparently, you can't be admitted to the hospital "in labor" unless you are dilated to a minimum of 3! Guess I would have learned that had I taken a birth preparedness class, huh? pssshhh....
So walking I went. Almost 2 hours of that and they finally officially checked me in, allowing me to rest for a while. I spent most of the day walking to get labor to progress, mixed with visits from my doctor, a painful i.v. insertion (at least until they called the phlebotomist to do it properly) and conversing with my mother and mother-in-law (yes, both HAD to be there). Finally, the doctor offered to break my waters to help speed up labor, which had been lingering at 4 to 5-ish for a couple of hours. Things picked up pretty quickly after that.
My soon-to-be husband was wonderful, rubbing my back during contractions, which lasted 2 minutes or more, and then we would switch and I would rub his arms in return. Our mothers sat watching us and as labor picked up, I actually had to ask my mother to stop talking because her voice was making me feel like I was tripping! (Long story short, I ate a poisonous plant as a small child and her voice was all I could hear during the effect of it, and it used to reoccur during very stressful situations.) Anyway, she sat quietly, trying to be helpful getting me pillows and I'm sure praying for me and the baby, as my wonderfully faithful mother does. I couldn't get comfortable in any position and I knew that the moment was approaching very fast. I stood, I sat on a ball, at one point I got in the tub in water birthing room, hopping right back out when it made the contractions stronger! At one point I ended up naked, on my hands and knees on the bed, with both of our mothers there! Yeah, not how I imagined the birth of my first baby going, especially since I had gained almost 60 pounds during pregnancy!
Eventually I settled on bracing myself in a standing position with my hands on the bed and my doctor came in and after checking me and finding me to be at 8cm, asked me if I was ready to push yet and did I need anything for the pain. I said yes to both and the nurses started prepping equipment, and the doctor gave me a half dose of morphine. I sat back on the bed and told her I was ready to push. The nurses propped my legs up and the doctor let me push as I needed to, only asking me to pause when she thought I might tear, quickly administering an episiotomy. It was only a few pushes and out came a healthy baby boy, 8#10oz, born at 5:55pm. She put the baby on my stomach and let me hold him while the placenta was expelled. Daddy cut the cord and our little son was taken over to the warming station. The doctor left me to attend to the baby on the warmer, massaging his head and checking his vitals. He had a deep cry, a lovely sound I will never forget! Our mothers swooned and coddled the baby.
The doctor stitched me up, stayed to visit for a bit and then left, only to return the next morning to check on us and circumcise our son. Thankfully, the hospital in our area prefers rooming in and really encourages mothers to nurse immediately. Unfortunately, I delivered at shift change, so all of the wonderful nurses who had attended my labor and the birth had clocked off and gone home for the night. The new nurse was... awful. She was irritating and I didn't care for her, which I was able to share with my one of my doctor's students who came in to visit and she gladly asked to have another nurse care for me. All in all, it was a good delivery. It was exactly what I expected the delivery of a baby to be, since I had only ever seen 1 birth before mine and no one had ever told me I could do it differently. I guess you could say it was text book. We stayed for 2 days, because I was a new mom and wanted a little extra help, and then we were on our way home, new parents and a healthy baby boy.
Not much to complain about with that birth, is there? Everyone was healthy, my labor went very well and was uncomplicated. I was informed later that the baby had the cord wrapped when he first emerged, but the doctor swiftly flipped the cord off his neck on the way out and he was none worse for the wear. She really is a wonderful doctor. My only criticisms of this delivery were my own shortcomings - I could have done without the morphine and I'm sure I could have done without the episiotomy. I didn't yet have an opinion about artificially rupturing membranes, so it wasn't on my list of goals for the next birth.
Tomorrow or the next day I will talk about the birth of our second son. Thanks for indulging me!
The contractions for son #1 started half-way through the day on my due date. We had company over that day, another expectant mother who was due about a 10 days after me but would go on to have her son a little over a week late. We had a good chat, took a belly to belly picture, and I declined going to shoot a few games of pool because my back had been hurting off and on for the last hour or so. Who tries to play pool at 9 months pregnant and how would I even bend over the table to shoot?! We said good bye and I sat down to rest a bit.
I started timing my back aches, because they were starting to feel like menstrual cramps, and it turns out I was having contractions, all in my back, but I was able to go to sleep at about midnight that night. I woke at about 3, when the contractions were closer together and more regular, called my boyfriend (gasp, we weren't married or living together?! Surprise, no - we were married when son #1 was 5 months old), told him to get dressed and get over to my father's house to drive me to the hospital. I took a shower, watched a movie, ate a sandwich (all with my father peeking in on me to see if I was okay). My boyfriend finally arrived and we got to the hospital at about 5:30 a.m.
I checked in and told the nurses I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart. They did the usual, hooked me to a monitor so they could evaluate, and once they did, they checked my cervix to find that I was only at a little over 1. Apparently, you can't be admitted to the hospital "in labor" unless you are dilated to a minimum of 3! Guess I would have learned that had I taken a birth preparedness class, huh? pssshhh....
So walking I went. Almost 2 hours of that and they finally officially checked me in, allowing me to rest for a while. I spent most of the day walking to get labor to progress, mixed with visits from my doctor, a painful i.v. insertion (at least until they called the phlebotomist to do it properly) and conversing with my mother and mother-in-law (yes, both HAD to be there). Finally, the doctor offered to break my waters to help speed up labor, which had been lingering at 4 to 5-ish for a couple of hours. Things picked up pretty quickly after that.
My soon-to-be husband was wonderful, rubbing my back during contractions, which lasted 2 minutes or more, and then we would switch and I would rub his arms in return. Our mothers sat watching us and as labor picked up, I actually had to ask my mother to stop talking because her voice was making me feel like I was tripping! (Long story short, I ate a poisonous plant as a small child and her voice was all I could hear during the effect of it, and it used to reoccur during very stressful situations.) Anyway, she sat quietly, trying to be helpful getting me pillows and I'm sure praying for me and the baby, as my wonderfully faithful mother does. I couldn't get comfortable in any position and I knew that the moment was approaching very fast. I stood, I sat on a ball, at one point I got in the tub in water birthing room, hopping right back out when it made the contractions stronger! At one point I ended up naked, on my hands and knees on the bed, with both of our mothers there! Yeah, not how I imagined the birth of my first baby going, especially since I had gained almost 60 pounds during pregnancy!
Eventually I settled on bracing myself in a standing position with my hands on the bed and my doctor came in and after checking me and finding me to be at 8cm, asked me if I was ready to push yet and did I need anything for the pain. I said yes to both and the nurses started prepping equipment, and the doctor gave me a half dose of morphine. I sat back on the bed and told her I was ready to push. The nurses propped my legs up and the doctor let me push as I needed to, only asking me to pause when she thought I might tear, quickly administering an episiotomy. It was only a few pushes and out came a healthy baby boy, 8#10oz, born at 5:55pm. She put the baby on my stomach and let me hold him while the placenta was expelled. Daddy cut the cord and our little son was taken over to the warming station. The doctor left me to attend to the baby on the warmer, massaging his head and checking his vitals. He had a deep cry, a lovely sound I will never forget! Our mothers swooned and coddled the baby.
The doctor stitched me up, stayed to visit for a bit and then left, only to return the next morning to check on us and circumcise our son. Thankfully, the hospital in our area prefers rooming in and really encourages mothers to nurse immediately. Unfortunately, I delivered at shift change, so all of the wonderful nurses who had attended my labor and the birth had clocked off and gone home for the night. The new nurse was... awful. She was irritating and I didn't care for her, which I was able to share with my one of my doctor's students who came in to visit and she gladly asked to have another nurse care for me. All in all, it was a good delivery. It was exactly what I expected the delivery of a baby to be, since I had only ever seen 1 birth before mine and no one had ever told me I could do it differently. I guess you could say it was text book. We stayed for 2 days, because I was a new mom and wanted a little extra help, and then we were on our way home, new parents and a healthy baby boy.
Not much to complain about with that birth, is there? Everyone was healthy, my labor went very well and was uncomplicated. I was informed later that the baby had the cord wrapped when he first emerged, but the doctor swiftly flipped the cord off his neck on the way out and he was none worse for the wear. She really is a wonderful doctor. My only criticisms of this delivery were my own shortcomings - I could have done without the morphine and I'm sure I could have done without the episiotomy. I didn't yet have an opinion about artificially rupturing membranes, so it wasn't on my list of goals for the next birth.
Tomorrow or the next day I will talk about the birth of our second son. Thanks for indulging me!
Searching for quality care...
I contacted a midwife last Thursday. I knew when I called that she would tell me that she wasn't allowed by law to attend vbac births. In Alaska, a midwife cannot knowingly attend a vbac birth, which I was aware of before calling. In many parts of Alaska, women are still delivering at home, and if they are lucky, there may be a midwife or a very experienced mother in the village.
I did manage to ask the midwife if she was prohibited from providing pregnancy care for a mother who had previously vbac'd and possibly helping her prepare for an unattended home birth. She said that she would look into it and give me a call back in a few days....
I think my best course of action at this point is to purchase text books that a midwife would read during their schooling and arm myself with knowledge. There are some really good books out there, like this one and this one, and I think that if I took good care of myself (my back, specifically) then I have a very good chance of delivering successfully at home. I'm going to call around locally to find a chiropractor who knows the Webster method. I swore of chiropractors nearly 3 years ago, but I might consider getting help if I knew it would produce good result for aligning things in my pelvis.
The next post will begin my history of the births of my sons. I haven't decided where to start, so you'll just have to read on!
I did manage to ask the midwife if she was prohibited from providing pregnancy care for a mother who had previously vbac'd and possibly helping her prepare for an unattended home birth. She said that she would look into it and give me a call back in a few days....
I think my best course of action at this point is to purchase text books that a midwife would read during their schooling and arm myself with knowledge. There are some really good books out there, like this one and this one, and I think that if I took good care of myself (my back, specifically) then I have a very good chance of delivering successfully at home. I'm going to call around locally to find a chiropractor who knows the Webster method. I swore of chiropractors nearly 3 years ago, but I might consider getting help if I knew it would produce good result for aligning things in my pelvis.
The next post will begin my history of the births of my sons. I haven't decided where to start, so you'll just have to read on!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Bite my tongue... for now
I didn't get to tell my doctor that I will be birthing at home this time. When it came time to discuss what my plans were for birthing this time, it was at the end of my appointment, on our way out the door. I did manage to tell her that if my water breaks early this time, I will be staying home until I have a good labor going. Her response was "You're so funny!" Yeah, hilarious! I suppose she thinks that I will go to the same doctor who did my c-section and attended the vbac, that even though I was frustrated with him, I have no other choice but to use him as my doctor.
In a way, she is right. In my town, excuse me, no, in the town next to mine (did I mention that I live in Alaska and my town has NO doctors in it because the only hospital in my immediate area is in the next town over, a mere 10 mile drive away) there are 3, yes, just 3 doctors capable of performing c-sections. One is a family practitioner (male, older, terrible bedside manners), one is a petite woman who has a "midwife" on staff (but who generally does what the doctor tells her to do), and the third is also a man (I hear he has a good sense of humor, but also tends to treat women as if they have a "condition" instead of treating them like people and often has terrible manners himself). Of these 3, only the first willingly lets women vbac, and only if he determines they are good candidates. The other 2 tend to push women toward repeat cesarean, since it is convenient for their schedules (and I suspect they like the fee a lot more than an uncomplicated vaginal delivery). So you can see that I was stuck with doctor #1. He's a very good doctor, well learned, has been doing this for AGES and in surgery, no one is better. Part of my problem with him is that he HAS been doing this forever, and over the last trimester of my last pregnancy, was very impersonal and dry, to the point that I wondered if I could give birth with this person in the room! I do not intend to go through any type of delivery with him again!
So my only option now is to keep quiet until the time is right, find a midwife who will accept me and not give me a hard time about my decision. I don't even know if midwives are allowed to knowingly attend a home vbac in Alaska, but I will find out. If you have any recommendations, I'll take 'em!
In a way, she is right. In my town, excuse me, no, in the town next to mine (did I mention that I live in Alaska and my town has NO doctors in it because the only hospital in my immediate area is in the next town over, a mere 10 mile drive away) there are 3, yes, just 3 doctors capable of performing c-sections. One is a family practitioner (male, older, terrible bedside manners), one is a petite woman who has a "midwife" on staff (but who generally does what the doctor tells her to do), and the third is also a man (I hear he has a good sense of humor, but also tends to treat women as if they have a "condition" instead of treating them like people and often has terrible manners himself). Of these 3, only the first willingly lets women vbac, and only if he determines they are good candidates. The other 2 tend to push women toward repeat cesarean, since it is convenient for their schedules (and I suspect they like the fee a lot more than an uncomplicated vaginal delivery). So you can see that I was stuck with doctor #1. He's a very good doctor, well learned, has been doing this for AGES and in surgery, no one is better. Part of my problem with him is that he HAS been doing this forever, and over the last trimester of my last pregnancy, was very impersonal and dry, to the point that I wondered if I could give birth with this person in the room! I do not intend to go through any type of delivery with him again!
So my only option now is to keep quiet until the time is right, find a midwife who will accept me and not give me a hard time about my decision. I don't even know if midwives are allowed to knowingly attend a home vbac in Alaska, but I will find out. If you have any recommendations, I'll take 'em!
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