Last minute worries

I am so much less stressed since I decided to quit going to appointments! I get to just enjoy being pregnant without the hassle of so many appointments, especially in this last trimester.

I do have one concern, and maybe you have some advice for this: what will my doctor (who is our family practitioner) do when she figures out I haven't gone to the other doctor who would handle the vbac and what will I do if she refuses to be our family doctor after our ubac? I am very worried about this! It is difficult to find a great doctor in our town and I don't want to be kicked off her roster!

Part of the reason I decided to stop going to appointments is because the doctor she has to turn me over to is very unpleasant and the stress of having to go to him again was more than I could take! I am happy with this decision. I'm not even worried about the possibility of ending up at the hospital and trying to explain my decision to the on call ob. Really, I just don't want to have to find a new doctor after all this.

Deciding to ubac at home has not been completely stress free. There are a few things that I am worried about happening. The biggest one is hemorrhaging. I watched my step sister give birth to her first baby (in the hospital) and she had a placenta break and there was blood everywhere, so I know how fast you can lose blood during that kind of hemorrhage! I do have some herbs on hand, but that is my number one fear.

The other is that the baby will not breath on his/her own. I know infant cpr and I know how some other emergency techniques for this situation, but it still worries me. I shouldn't worry about either, since all of my vaginal births have been routine and complication free. But there is nothing like being woken in the middle of the night with the "what if" question. Thankfully the worry subsides quickly and with some prayer and focus, I feel everything will be fine, like it is supposed to be.

Other than that, baby is head down (YAY!) and kicking away as I type. We have switched to decaf coffee, since quiting it altogether was impossible. I have also taken the advice of a friend and started to keep a weekly log of my vitals - blood pressure, weight, fluid retention (if noticeable), fetal movement, that kind of thing. My iron is low, I can tell, but that is normal for me and I have started a supplement. And I ordered a fetoscope and can NOT find a heartbeat to save my life! I think I may be too fat!

We are nearing the 7 weeks left mark and I have just a few more items to collect before I can say I am "ready". Can't wait to meet our new little one!